Word: cleansers
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Tingling like a tuning fork, you are then led into a shadowy room, wrapped in a sheet and stretched out on a padded table. Momentarily, you fear an autopsy. Instead a willowy brunette massages your brow with peachmeal skin cleanser. As your cuticles soften inside pink infraray booties and mittens, she applies a "mint masque" that hardens on your face like plaster. In the soft turquoise light, you barely feel your scalp simmering in hot oil. The strains of piped-in violins grow distant. "Reeelax," purrs the brunette, daubing turtle oil on your eyelids. "Let yourself gooo . . ." BODY BASTING...
...months ago, Negro Actress Zaida Coles auditioned for a TV commercial and landed a job pitching a new Bristol-Myers cleanser. Or so she thought. After further reflection, the advertising agency turned her down-not because she was black, but because she was not black enough...
...black horse, wears all black and is bad," "You're black balled from groups," "You're wicked an devil because you're blackhearted." "You wear black to funerals and white to weddings," "You can tell a good guy because he wears a white hat," little Black children see a cleanser on TV that cleans all black dirt and grime like a white tornado and they see the tooth decay villain dressed in black (causing the teeth of kids like them to hurt) and they see a toothpaste agent all in white destroying the nasty ugly tooth decay villain...
According to one school of thought (which is not to be encouraged), people may buy certain kinds of products even though they hate the commercial. The axiom drawn from all this is that contempt breeds familiarity, and familiarity breeds sales. The recently retired White Knight (for Ajax cleanser) was the most ridiculed horseman since Don Quixote. He galloped so many laps around the plains of suburbia 1,000,000 in five years that after a while, he became a rather endearing symbol of camp. What is more, according to one claim, his magic lance added a not-so-subliminal phallic...
...floppy white yachtsman's hat (a 58th-birthday present from his wife ten days earlier), he carted three bags of soiled linen to the laundry, then, pausing occasionally to consult a neat shopping list, picked up gold-covered paper matchbooks, a dustpan, a broom, clothes hooks, cleanser and a package of frozen pureed spinach...