Word: graders
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...right, of course, about the third alternative, and a very sensible one it is--working out some system of fooling the grader, although I think I should prefer the word "impressing." We admit to being impressionable, but not to being hyper-credulous simps. His first two tactics for system-beating, his Vague Generalities and Artful Equivocations, seem to presume the latter, and are only going to convince Crimson-reading graders (there are a few and we tell our friends) that the time has come to tighten the screws just a bit more...
Think, Mr. Carswell (wherever you are), think, all of you: Imagine the situation of your grader. (Unless he is of the Wheatstone Bridge-double differential CH3C6H2(NO2)3 set. These people are mere cogs, automata; they simply feel to make sure you have punched the right holes. As they cannot think, they cannot be impressed; they are clods. The only way to beat their system is to cheat.) In the humanities and social sciences, it is well to remember, there is a man (occasionally a woman), a human type filling out your picture postcard. What does he want to read...
Carswell's further discussion of the O.A. is quite to the point--he himself realizes its superiority to any E., however A. His illustration includes one of the key "Wake up the Grader" phrases--"It is absurd." What force! What gall! What fun! "Ridiculous," "hopeless," "nonsense," on the one hand; "doubtless," "obvious," "unquestionable," on the other, will have the same effect. A hint of nostalgic, anti-academic languor at this stage as well may match the grader's own mood: "It seems more than obvious to one entangled in the petty quibbles of contemporary Medievalists--at times, indeed, approaching...
...above all, keep us entertained. Keep us awake. Be bold, be personal, be witty, be chock full of facts. I'm sure you can do it all without studying if you try. We did. Best wishes, A Grader...
...essay below, "Beating the System," by Donald Carswell '50, was awarded the Dana Reed Prize for undergraduate writing in 1951; it has been reprinted on this page as a service to readers annually at the start of exam period ever since. In 1962, Carswell's piece provoked one anonymous grader to submit a lengthy letter in an attempt to set the record straight...