Word: toughen
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Dates: during 1961-1961
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...captive; if they had, they would never have let him escape. The reason Deraa was a turning point in Lawrence's life, Nutting argues, was the horrifying discovery that he was at heart a masochist. For years Lawrence had indulged himself in private scourgings in the desert to toughen himself. "Pain," wrote Lawrence, "was a solvent, a cathartic, almost a decoration to be fairly worn." Lawrence confessed that under the Turkish whiplashes and bayonets "a delicious warmth, probably sexual, was swelling through me." This realization converted Lawrence into the ruthless sadist who machine-gunned prisoners in cold blood...