Word: squirted
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Molly M. Rooney ’11 faced a life-altering decision: would she be known as Squiggle, Squirt, Jelly Bean, Wiggles, or Bouncy? She was at the first meeting of Class Clowns this past Wednesday, a new club at Harvard that seeks to combine clowning and community service, and it was time for her to pick her clown name. Rooney, whose father was a clown, said that when she searched online for clown names starting with “M,” she found her own name, Molly. In the end, however, Rooney decided to throw out Molly...
...hour-long musical comedy Glee, about a misfit show choir at an Ohio high school, has a different set of dramatic inspirations: High School Musical and teen soaps, which it throws in a blender with a squirt of pop-candy syrup and a generous dose of acid. But Glee is more than a send-up. Like its Fox sibling American Idol, it's equal parts laughing at and thrilling with; if it didn't also genuinely, earnestly love its music and its characters, it would become sour and unwatchable quick. Seeing a football team do a choreographed play to Beyonc...
...Clunkers didn't involve intricate algorithms or a 1,400-page appropriations bill. The only debate was over how much sugar was needed to sweeten the pot. That first billion was supposed to last a few months; when it ran out in a week, a bipartisan coalition voted to squirt $2 billion more into the pipeline. Here, finally, was stimulus policy Americans understood...
...concert's big special effect, when the brothers pick up large hoses, hold them at their waists and - I'm not making this up, ask anybody - squirt jismatic spumes of white gooey stuff into the audience. The Jonases may have vowed to remain virgins till marriage, but they can have simulated sex with the girleens in the Garden. And the fans can end the evening feeling both clean and sticky...
...save on toilet paper. Go ahead, toss the tissue. You're not getting your hands anywhere near your netherlands. The Neorest does it all for you: It offers a squirt of water in the rear, a squirt of water in the front, a squirt of water that pulses or a gentler stream for tough days. You can adjust pressure and direction from the comfort of your seat. Then there's a down under blow drier. No wonder the manufacturers prefer the term "Integrated Personal Cleansing System" to toilet. Or latrine. Or, you know, thunderbox...