Word: gonk
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...Johnson, a rollicksome, rubber-faced wag who in 47 years in vaudeville never let a custard pie go unthrown and grew rich, together with Straight Man "Ole" Olsen (currently touring in Europe), by endlessly repeating their zany show, Hellzapoppin, a unique blend of slapstick and what O & J christened "gonk," which they defined as "hokum with raisins in it"; of a kidney ailment; in Las Vegas...
...time ago of the experiments in which pieces of toast and marmalade were dropped on various samples of carpet arranged in order of quality from coir [coconut fiber] matting to the finest Kirman rugs; the marmalade-downwards incidence was found to vary directly with the quality of the carpet . . . Gonk's Hypothesis, formulated by our own Professor Gonk, of the Cambridge Trichological Institute, states that a subject who has rubbed a wet shaving brush over his face before applying the cream cannot, however long and furiously he shakes the brush, prevent water from dribbling down his forearm and wetting...