Word: fm
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...Look Like A Gringo. We even checked up on extra-terrestrial life so none could disturb your well-deserved vacations. We were really worried about this--be thankful. We did all this, even knowing most of you pleasure seekers won't even be around to read dear old FM...
...those students who will find themselves in warmer climates over spring break, we have the FM guide on how not to be a stupid gringo...
...Monday night, and at WHRB, 95.3 on your FM dial, the Record Hospital's weekly Top 20 Countdown is underway...
...Seth's mysterious whereabouts abounded: some were terrifying, like the one that had Seth vacationing with Kurt Cobain in Europe. Some were just plain ugly. Imagine the things we heard! Why, one speculator guessed that Seth was pimping under an assumed name in Morocco. In any case, FM had just about given up on ever hearing from Seth again when we received this memo, brought in late last night by a strange, hairy man who had fear in his eyes and the stench of death on his skin...
...strangely greyish, and his eyes are bloodshot from the combined effects of Akva and sleep deprivation. Given recent studies on the result of this kind of extreme situation on the human psyche, we do not expect Seth to be in adequate mental shape to return to work here at FM anytime soon...