Word: farting
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...thinks Kathie Lee is the devil. The note read, "I was very sorry to hear the news that you and your wife have separated. God loves you and he cares about you and each member of your family. He's there when you need him." Here's hoping that Fart-Man makes an unwelcome appearance Regis and Kathie Lee in the near future...
When he isn't feeling superior to his surroundings, McCourt suffers brief spasms of unworthiness. There are his infected eyes, "like two pissholes in the snow," a phrase he likes so much that he repeats it many, many times. Another thoroughly used favorite is "not giving a fiddler's fart." Reading this book can push you to just that point...
...White Flight and the Black Menace ("We work together")--all are unworthy of joining even this pickup team. But there is talent out there. The Bowler (Janeane Garofalo) has a magic ball with her father's head inside; Dad nags her from beyond the grave. Spleen (Paul Reubens) unleashes fart darts, silent but deadly. The Sphinx (Wes Studi) has a profoundly inane aphorism for every tight spot. Invisible Boy (Kel Mitchell) may one day live up to his name. In unity these losers find strength and cool. The unholy three become the Seven Glamourai...
...movie time. And that means you can have your brains cryogenically frozen till fall. You won't have to take Cliffs Notes to any movie, unless it's Dick, the comedy about two '70s teenagers who were supposedly Watergate's Deep Throat--and that picture boasts giggling girls, a fart joke and a Chief Executive who serendipitously shares his nickname with the male organ. As for mega-serioso drama, the main one is Eyes Wide Shut, and that has Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman making weird whoopee, so it shouldn't be a chore to sit through. Most...
...most importantly--will Whoopi Goldberg make another fart joke? We hope...