Word: evening
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Dates: during 2000-2000
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Amid the sorrow, Lynch says, were unexpected gifts. "We had to make room for the rituals, ceremonies and liturgies that my parents were always responsible for." In the process, he saw his siblings in a fresh, more adult light, and he even rediscovered his parents. "When I look, for instance, at my sister," he says, "I see my mother's wisdom, sensibility, faith and her great tolerance for the imperfections in others...
Fortunately, Castilian Spanish tends to be better pronounced and slower cadenced than elsewhere in Latin America. "Even when you botch up, it's worth it," notes Peter Moller, 58, a retired Colorado college professor who took a brushup course and then led a trip to the Galapagos. "People in Latin America are very understanding." Even so, those contemplating language immersion might want to learn the basics at a community college, then plunge in talking upon arrival...
...father watched my first steps," says psychologist Alexander Levy, author of The Orphaned Adult: Understanding and Coping with Grief and Change After the Death of Our Parents. "He paced the floor the first time I took the car out at night." The role parents play is beyond measure--and even reason. "Even people who've murdered a parent go through this debilitating and confusing kind of loss," says Levy, who has observed interviews with young killers...
Such losses often bring new opportunities for reassessing one's life. "Even in mid-life people still defer to their living parents," says the Bereavement Center's Duff. "There's freedom to explore without parental approval how one votes, careers, the expression of sexual preference, marriage, religion," adds Levy. There is also, for many of the grieving children, a heightened sense of mortality and of being fully--and solely--responsible for one's life...
...swirl of emotions that stem from losing both parents is typically negotiated through a tremendous channel of grief, which friends and family--even the adult orphans themselves--sometimes greet with limited tolerance. "This is a quick-fix society," says John DeBerry, bereavement coordinator for the Palliative Care and Home Hospice Program at Chicago's Northwestern Memorial Hospital. "Society says keep busy and you'll feel better...