Word: depardieu
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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MARCH 2000 Premiere of the movie Dear Handsome, Dear Creep on the Lifetime channel. Cast: Kate Winslet as Monica, John Larroquette as Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres as Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey as Betty Currie, Gerard Depardieu as Linda Tripp, Angela Lansbury as Lucianne Goldberg, Bob Balaban as Ken Starr and Jack Palance as Walt Whitman...
...girl gets docked a point for having been in a Gerard Depardieu movie, but since, to quote from the film's Web site, "she appeared with Steven Segal [sic, amusingly] in the action thriller Under Siege 2, in the pivotal role of Segal's [sic] niece who is kidnapped as bait when terrorists seize the train she is on," all is more or less forgiven. She is joined by some `90210'-clone from a soap opera. Their best friend is a stereotypical gay guy ("Oh pooh!"), played by some other guy you've never heard...
...teen idoldom: "A lot of girls would go see Leo open a paper bag right now." If you want to understand why this is so, go see The Man in the Iron Mask yourself and one answer will be readily apparent: he is not his co-star Gerard Depardieu...
Hulking and knob-muscled, Depardieu farts, belches and wenches his way through his role as the aging musketeer Porthos. He pronounces the word nipple as "neeple." He is a figure of masculinity not so much past its prime as grotesque and overripened, the kind of colossus Rodin might have come up with if he worked in old Camembert instead of bronze. In short, Depardieu is just the kind of male to frighten an adolescent girl off the gender altogether. In this filmic universe he is the anti...
...mainly to be the brains of the group and a prim foil to the buffoon Porthos. A summary of his character is provided in his answer to a vexed Athos, who exclaims, "Are you so much holier than the rest of us?" He replies calmly, "Yes, I am." While Depardieu and Irons provide the comic relief, John Malkovich plays the father unhinged by grief who finds a surrogate son in Phillipe, and not always convincingly. His voice seems to express only one consistent emotion: suppressed rage. Whatever he says, he says so deliberately that it seems that he is attempting...