Word: dartboards
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...retreat of Rudenstine has all the trappings of a literary tragedy. The noble leader, beset by troubles on all sides, takes his charge too close to heart and (nearly, in this case) hastens his own demise. What better way could Dartboard bemoan this doleful turn of events than to call on its dearly departed bard to contribute a soul-stirring bit of poesy...
...have questions here at Dartboard, lots of questions. Why hasn't Rudenstine shown himself in public. Has he been captured by radical Yale's, trapped in a box six feet underground with only glucose pumped through a straw to sustain him? Has he been suffering from some disfiguring disease carried by tree sloths in the Congo' Has SPECTRE finally gotten...
...Dartboard can't help but picture the scene. On a hot, sticky night in a dark Puerto-Rican club, a new dance emerges: "La Bobbitt." Women gyrate down to their partners' waists, mimicking a pair of scissors with their fingers. They begin to mime a "snip-snip" action as the male recoils in terror. Better than Voguing! Banda Gorda makes a killing...
...Dartboard believe that different recruiting strategy might work better for both organizations. Perhaps tasteful flyers for door-drops could enhance students' appetites for donating blood and picketing abortion clinics. The Red Cross might even use some quotes from "Interview with a Vampire" for a deliciously topical pitch...
Some things just don't mix with mealtime. At our hungriest moments, we at Dartboard wouldn't want to sign a note of sympathy for Jeffrey Dahmer's parents any more than sign away a pint of blood or check out modern surgical techniques--especially when the savory beet brisket looks like it's about to walk off vour plate...