Word: cascara
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Water is a plotless wonder that vaguely whirlpools around the trials and tribulations of the people of Cascara, a mythical last remnant of the British Empire that the British would be only too happy to get rid of. Michael Caine is the colonial governor, sincerely concerned with the welfare of the people and his ganja crop. Brenda Vaccaro is the governor's Guatemalan wife with an unsavory past and personality. She doesn't get an "A" for originality with her Charo imitation and dialogue...
Trouble with the predictably absurb complications sets in when a played-out oil rig on the island strikes mineral water, i.e., Perrier. Now suddenly everyone wants Cascara. Michael Caine must save the island for the islanders against the designs of the great powers. He aligns himself with the island's only two revolutionaries, and attempts a desperate showdown against the forces of oppression, culminating in a benefit concert at the UN featuring Eric Clapton, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. Make sense...
...utterly stupid are the gags? The Cascara national anthem is accompanied by swimstrokes since most of the inhabitants are descended from shipwreck victims. Jimmy Walker (trivial persuit: remember J.J. of "Dyno-mite" fame?) does weather report on a tropical island. "It's hot!" he cries. The lead revolutionary sings all his lines to a reggae beat. Valerie Perrine reaches in Michael Caine's pocket for his lighter and instead grabs...Well, you get the idea...