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...those days before the election, Gerald Ford danced across the great American political stage like Fred Astaire out on the back lot of MGM. Sometimes in tux and shiny slippers, other times in button-down and plaid, always with a smile, a beefy victory clasp and a quip, he shuffled along to the chants of the airport crowds, the brassy tunes of high school bands and occasionally a dance combo...
...case you missed it, I feel it is my duty to tell you that I had the score of the Dartmouth-Columbia game (21-0) right on the button last week. There was also a typographical error that said that Cornell would be Brown. I don't know how it happened. In any case, my Ouija board reports the following...
...relatively few voters turned out for the primaries. Similarly, many may stay away from the polls on Election Day. That will make it difficult for Republicans, no matter how much distance they have tried to put between themselves and Ford's economic package. Indeed, the only WIN button down here stands for "Wilbur is Naughty" and refers to Democratic Representative Mills' night life. However, after a decade of gains, the G.O.P. ought to lose less here than in other regions, which is a victory of sorts for Republicans in the year of Watergate...
Jerry Ford moved in genial confusion through the Midwest last week wearing his WIN button and the same blue suit two days in a row. He stayed in Harry Truman's old suite at the Muehlebach in Kansas City and was made a member of the Future Farmers of America. He did not dodge any protesters or reporters. In Sioux Falls the supporters of George McGovern were swept into his hammy grip just as readily as others...
...sisters. (He even offers a veiled suggestion that Angela Davis is the modern equivalent of the stern black mama figure trying to shape up her offspring in the absence of a father.) A minister named the Rev. Rookie is replaced by a Moog synthesizer; Maxwell Kasa-vubu, a button-down black literary critic, hallucinates that he is Richard Wright's illiterate murderer Bigger Thomas. Reed even brings back those veteran moochers from Amos 'n' Andy, the Kingfish and Andrew H. Brown, now trying to cash in on the street-corner Hindu racket. "Andy," says the Kingfish...