Word: parentvacuum
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...bilk yet another free meal out of them (this will become the basis of your relationship with them for the next four years) and they can spend time with their baby, their brand new Ivy League genius. Warn them that if they don't depart by them a gignatic parentvacuum tours the Yard at 9 p.m. If your parents weren't here to begin with or they've already taken the hint and taken off, find yourself some lunch and maybe go shopping for a while for room provisions. Go to Harvard Student Agencies and rent a refrigerator...
...Party. Meet people. Learn to avoid assholes; and fear not, there will be plenty of them. Become alienated. For added thrills, stand outside your dorm and watch and parentvacuum in operation. Tid down all light objects...
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