Word: yales
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...YALE has beaten Columbia at foot-ball, and is happy. That dear little Record is as brisk as ever, and prints its funny little time-honored article on college "sponges," its good little article on "college reform," its examination schedules and society reports, and its terse little expository editorials with plenty of "we's" sprinkled in, and is altogether such a cheerful, busy, bustling, self-contented little sheet as is truly refreshing to behold. This is its best joke...
...second mile Vassar was still ahead, leading Ah Sin by five lengths; Harvard, however, had now gained the 497th place, our colored brethren, by strict attention to business, having succeeded in passing Yale...
...Yale and Wesleyan followed the example set by their swarthy rival, while Vassar now led all three by half a mile. Suddenly Heap-swearing Fox, stroke of the Indian crew, drew a tomahawk from his belt, and with an appalling yell buried it in the brain of the unfortunate...
...Yale crew, which had been selected with especial reference to the decisions of the Judges, was stone-deaf, to a man; consequently the bloodcurdling yells of the savages had not the least effect upon it. Too near-sighted to observe the distress of Vassar, they were quick in noticing Harvard forge ahead, and, making a desperate spurt, soon lapped our crew...
...this juncture "the colored crew pulled nobly," seeing which, Bruiser, bow-oar of Yale, raised his oar, and brought it down upon the devoted head of Ephraim G. Stubbs with great violence...