Word: write
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...That’s the secret, really. Don’t write out “TIME!!!” in inch-high scrawl—it only brings out the sadist in us. Don’t (Cliffies) write offers to come over and read aloud to us your illegible remarks—we can (officially) read anything, and we may be married. Write on both sides of the page—single bluebook finals look like less work to grade and win points. This chic, shaded calligraphic script so many are affecting lately is handsome and is probably...
...actually does, the vague generality is the key device. A generality is a vague statement that means nothing by itself, but when placed in an essay on a specific subject very well might mean something to the grader. The true master of a generality is the man who can write a 10-page essay, which means nothing at all to him, and have it mean a great deal to anyone who reads it. The generality writer banks on the knowledge possessed by the grader, hoping the marker will read things into his essay...
...generality expert has already taken his position for the essay. Actually he has not the vaguest idea of what Hume really said, or in fact what he said it in, or in fact if he ever said anything at all. But by never bothering to define empiricism, he may write indefinitely on the issue, virtually without contradiction...
...support, I wrapped a pink glow stick around my wrist and waited for the recruiters to approach. None did. So after an hour, I walked up to Kenji Mitsuka, a producer at Drumbeat Digital, a Web development company. I asked Kenji if he could hook me up with a writing job. After listening to my qualifications, he asked me if I could write insurance brochures. I told him I could try, if Aetna didn't mind insurance brochures with penis jokes in them. Then he said, "You don't have any health-care experience, do you?" I said...
...mostly write about myself," I explained. "Got any openings for that?" He told me that just minutes before he had been approached by a sex columnist from the Greenwich Village Gazette with the same skill set. Although I was excited to hear that someone else was writing about me for a living, I couldn't help worrying that when my editors finally wake up and trade me for Tucker Carlson and a liberal to be named later, I'm going to have to read up on this health-care thing...