Word: tarkanian
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Students of White House culture have begun to notice a peculiar strain of what might be called the Las Vegas syndrome. First, UNLV basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian turned up in the Oval Office for a Bush handshake. Then Siegfried and Roy, the lion tamers and Strip headliners, also appeared in the President's office. Finally, during a Bush campaign stopover in Rochester, Minn., who should pop out of nowhere to sing the national anthem but Mr. Las Vegas himself, Wayne Newton. The odd sightings can all be traced to Sigmund Rogich, the President's events coordinator, who grew up dirt...
Right. And Jerry Tarkanian is a handsome, well-versed scholar...
...year of long-overdue admissions. Bill Buckner will admit he let the ball go through his legs on purpose. Jerry Tarkanian will admit he was paying his players the whole time. Tommy Lasorda will admit he hired a stunt double to look skinny for those diet commercials. Hulk Hogan will admit that professional wrestling is fake, and that only brain-dead people watch it. Jordan will admit he is not really from this planet, and will fly home. Tyson will admit he was beaten up by Barbara Walters (Why else would he have agreed to do that interview?), and will...
Long Beach had all the trappings of a professional team--and not only because mega-cheater Jerry Tarkanian used to coach there. The starters ranged from 6'5" to 6'9". The reserves were even bigger. They wore snazzy flourescent green-and-black warm-ups. They had a nationally ranked cheerleading squad. They had a seven-woman song-and-dance troupe performing a routine to MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" during time-outs. You don't see that kind of thing at Briggs Cage...
...49ers did manage to squeak out an 81-77 overtime win. To watch them celebrate, you'd think the finger-pointing, junk-talking Long Beach hoopsters had knocked off Tarkanian's UNLV squad, a big west rival...