Word: supers
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...McCain finishes off Romney with sweeping Super Tuesday wins...
Every big event needs a director. Think of the Oscars, the Beijing Olympics, the Super Bowl: in each case there was a guy, or girl, timing the fireworks, cueing the music, lining up the athletes or yanking starlets' heads out of toilets for their big moment. For the Democratic National Convention in Denver that guy is Matt Nugen, an unlikely, happy-go-lucky 36-year-old who is responsible for making Barack Obama's coronation go off without a hitch...
...Super Tuesday: Obama and Clinton basically tie, settling nothing...
...perfect for destroying an enemy missile carrying a nuclear warhead on its launch pad (apparently, the NRC has some doubts about the effectiveness of the nation's "Star Wars" missile shield and the utility of hundreds of warplanes). It would also be ideal for taking out an unexplained super-weapon (perhaps an electro-magnetic pulse nuclear bomb) that could lead to the "loss of numerous satellites crucial to U.S. command and control...
...system. Phelps is clearly in incredible athletic shape, so he'd get twice as many points for his wins as the table-tennis gold medalist would. In fact, if time allows, I'd have all the gold medalists, except wrestlers, wrestle one another in an overall 1,000-point super-Olympic event to determine the world's best athlete. I'd also make them all live in one house and complain about one another to the camera...