Word: subjecting
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...Subject checked e-mail, presumably for Ms. Stafford's reply. Nothing...
...Subject Googled Ms. Stafford, locating several cached sports articles she wrote for her college newspaper and one image of her in a group shot from a high school trip to Italy. Subject zoomed in to study her with arm around then-boyfriend, and remained there for 11 minutes...
...Subject narcissstically Googled self, and ceased when he came across unflattering remark on friend Josh Peterson's blog about his recent "nails-on-a-chalkboard" karaoke rendition of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy." (N.B.: Our mole was present at the performance, and confirms that the subject's tone-deaf singing was "excessively painful" and "should be forbidden by the Geneva Conventions...
...Subject checked e-mail. No new messages...
...Subject Googled and followed hits for four women, three of whom are confirmed ex-girlfriends, and the last of whom he had a "massive unrequited crush on in high school," according to our dossier. Yes, we keep track of this sort of thing...