Word: stand-up
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...Hope actually belongs on some sort of Mount Rushmore, his nose cantilevered on reinforcing rods near Groucho Marx's cigar and Jack Benny's bow. Hope is the longest-running one-line stand-up snap-it-out comedian in the history of show business. His jokes now have more polish than brass, but they keep coming, with energy and perfect timing. He says he'll never quit: "If I retired, I'd be surrounded by about nine psychiatrists. I'm not retiring until they carry me away, and I'll have a few routines...
...oldest new comedian around is Jackie Kahane, who is 39 and has actually been a figure in the nightclub woodwork for some time but is now crawling toward recognition. He is a Canadian and a throwback to the era of the stand-up comedian, the school that thought a comic was a gagman, not an actor, and any joke that couldn't be told in one breath couldn't be funny. Kahane sprays his BBs in all directions. "In kindergarten, my kid flunked clay ... I love children, I went to school with them . . . Our dog is adopted...
...living rent free in a $26,000 home provided by a trucking firm. Nor was there complete agreement on Tony's raise. At the meeting-attended by no more than 400 of the local's 14,000 members-40 Teamsters were against Tony in a stand-up vote. One challenged him to submit the raise to a secret ballot of all members. In retrospect, Tony himself seemed to be having second thoughts about whether he should take the raise. His position is already precarious with many of his men. He managed to win re-election as president...
These jokes come out as segments of nervous, elliptical stories. The man who tells them is a flatheaded, redheaded lemur with closely bitten fingernails and a sports jacket. Like Jack Paars ghostly Jack Douglas, Allen is a gag writer turned stand-up comic. He even resembles Douglas in a miniature way, with bulging eyes framed by heavy black-rimmed glasses. In fact, since he is so dehydrated that he probably weighs what the charts say he ought to, he gives the impression that if he were dropped into a bowl of water he would turn into Douglas himself...
Tests on butchered stand-up hogs proved the professor right. The amount of ham as a percentage of the carcass increased by 5.6%. More experience will be needed before stand-up feeding can be generally recommended, but Heitman is hopeful. "A 5% betterment in hams," he says, "would be terrific for the industry...