Word: stadler
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...shots.) Not football players (Although the NFL now penalizes crowds that reach three-digit decibel levels, as well as quarterbacks who pretend they can't call signals when the decibel level is only 99.) What's that? No, golfers aren't really athletes. Just look at Craig "The Walrus" Stadler...
...festival offers some discoveries, however. Leningrad Composer Andrei Petrov's 1980 Violin Concerto is a sturdy showpiece that picks up momentum from its opening recitative to its blazing vivo finale; it got an otherworldly performance from Soloist Sergei Stadler, a baby-faced firebrand who shared first prize in the 1982 Tchaikovsky Competition with Viktoria Mullova. Sergei Slonimsky's sprightly two-minute Novgorod Dance -- hellzapoppin', cossack- style, ending with the clarinetist, trombonist, cellist, pianist and conductor all merrily hoofing it around the stage -- bespeaks a composer with both an ear and a sense of humor. Best of all is Schnittke...
...Golfer Craig Stadler came to own a pair of trousers worth $37,000. -- S. M. U. football draws a "death" penalty...
Poor Craig Stadler, a man who has never been able to keep a crease in his pants, was brought to his knees in the third round of the Andy Williams Open under a sappy tree. Tired of being described as a bag of cantaloupes, Stadler put down a towel before slapping the ball out and cheerfully going about his business. The next day, a bee stabbed him during his round, a portent of stings to come. While Stadler was persevering to a second-place finish worth $37,333.33, TV replayed his arboreal adventure. The switchboard, as they...
...rules. They have come to an accommodation with themselves and one another to bump the ball in the fairways or nonchalant it on the greens. The game most of them play combines croquet with tiddledywinks. But they know the rules. Alerted by the whistle blowers, P.G.A. tour officials penalized Stadler two strokes for innocently "building a stance" with his flat towel and then disqualified him entirely because the scorecard he had signed the day before was now incorrect. Some might say the punishment fit the crime no better than the pants fit the criminal, but when...