Word: squeezees
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MR. WHIPPLE Grocer who begged customers not to "squeeze the Charmin"
The new goop (which will apparently taste the same as the red stuff and even be enhanced with parent-pleasing vitamin C) will come in easy-to-squeeze bottles designed to emit a thin stream of shocking-green ketchup when aimed at, say, a plate of french fries (or the...
Think of Charles having to steer his longtime squeeze toward Queen Elizabeth at a garden party to make some lame attempt at pretending they can talk civilly ("Mummy, I'm sure you and Camilla are going to have a dreadfully lot to discuss when it comes to horses"). Think of...
Not to mention plenty of smart, energetic 33-year-olds who are more than eager to step into the shoes of every smart, not-so-energetic 53-year-old--for less money too, and probably with more appropriate new-economy skills. (The guy in the next office who's still...
So, you wanna be president, eh? Don't be so shocked that the secret's out. We're a pretty perceptive bunch around here, and we're onto you. Why else would you agree to be Captain Copyright, safeguarding fair Harvard's blessed name from evil infringement perpetrators everywhere? Why...