Word: shocks
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...Shock rocker Marilyn Manson and the band that bears his--yes, his--name can make even the most avidly sociopathic rap and heavy-metal groups look meek...
Imagine my shock, then, when he called me up two weeks ago in a complete panic and told me to brace myself for extraordinary news: Sir Alec Guinness, the distinguished British actor who played Obi-Wan Kenobi, was not dead. Very maturely, I replied, "You wanna bet?" But he was convinced and began to recite the evidence. He had just come home from a family vacation and had seen a copy of a book written by Guinness in 1996. What's more, he read an article in Time magazine which seemed to make it very clear that...
DESPERATE 1. The Kissing Machine[TM] $49.95 Sometimes a kiss is more than just a kiss. With the help of this battery-operated gadget, a smooch can be shock therapy too. Connect one set of wires to your stereo, hold one handle each, turn the knobs, kiss and whammo! You complete the circuit, and the electricity really flows. It could cure you of kissing forever...
...with union demands for salary hikes certainly didn't hurt either. In an effort to keep the union drive from spreading to other Canadian stores, Wal-Mart is considering an appeal. Meanwhile, pro-union employees, slated to be represented by United Steelworkers, milled around Wednesday in a state of shock over their surprise victory. The Wal-Mart union will have 60 days to opt for contract negotiations, a new experience for company management, which for the past few decades has relied mostly on employee ownership to keep workers from drifting to higher-paying jobs...
...went into a shop, and the salesman wished me a good day and asked what she could do for me. I was in shock...