Word: scripted
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...Hollywood's favorite pastime, the wacky bedroom farce. Instead, it's a long, drawn-out version (without technicolor, too) of an eighteenth century Fitzpatrick Travel Talk. Franchot Tone, Carol Bruce, Walter Brennan, and a bunch of others wade wearily through an hour or so of an even wearier script. Waves, shipwrecks, Indians, and cold-blooded villains don't help much, except perhaps to convince you that the picture's point is about as obscure as its title...
Medbury's Quirt & Flagg script is not so yeasty as the famed Anderson-Stallings' play, although plenty tough for radio. But the show is designed to sell Mennen's shaving cream, and Author Medbury doesn't have to worry about feminine outcries, except from bearded ladies...
...pantry of theatrical food and loaded a groaning table with every edible known to the theatroniverous world. Net result: the most appetetive play-going gourmand alive could hardly leave without a satieted groan and a distinct craving for Alka-Seltzer. Reason: the recipe used was an inexcusably hacked script...
...funny trio who must have written their own routine, the pleasing calisthenics of a large chorus of girls whose beauty was given by God and not Helena Rubenstein, expensive costumes and lighting, and a good measure of sweet notes from the orchestra pit. It's all there but the script; one-quarter of it plus a good script would have made a better product. But, though O'Brien dies a thousand deaths, the show will probably live on, sustained by sheer scope and variety...
There's not much to say about Tom Harmon's picture except that it is much, much worse than could be reasonably expected. The plot is slow, childish, and embarrassingly overdone in spots. The acting, except perhaps for Anita Louise, is spotty, too. And the script is a marvel of cliche-collecting. Tom Harmon should definitely stick to radio announcing...