Word: salad
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...recently as 1965, each night brought a Big Surprise that was usually a Big Letdown. Only one entree a meal was offered to students. Since then the trend has been toward variety in choice. Changes have included the availability of vegetarian plates at every meal and a diversified salad bar including the new rage, three bean salad. The number of beverages has jumped, and a menu coordinated with religious holidays has taken form. The popular hamburger-alternative at the Quad Houses has also appeared...
Such tactics are not always necessary. In 1973 conscience-stricken Commentary Editor Norman Podhoretz sold his beloved country home to repay $17,500 owed Simon & Schuster for an unwritten tome on the 1960s. Nora Ephron (Crazy Salad) has paid the last of $14,000 she owed Viking for a never-written history of the liquor industry...
...then things got worse. Already grossed out by the Vikings' performance against Oakland, most people turned a pale shade of purple when the dinner fare was a toss-up between baked meatloaf and sardine salad plate #13, the numeral an indication of how many people could stomach more than one sardine. A real toss-up, if you know what I mean...
Breakfast was lunch, lunch was breakfast, but no matter, it was still terrible. In regard to the French veal stew in a bowl, smart money would have opted for the bowl. As for salad plate #16, well, at least the expected turnout was three greater than that for Sunday's sardines...
...Modest Proposal, two centuries after its original topicality. The moral certainty that once propped up satire has faded also. Wolfe is too canny to convey any advice except an implicit "knock it off." If he went further, he could easily spend the rest of his days on the chicken-salad circuit, pumping for apple-pie virtues. He would no longer be a purveyor of satire but a target...