Word: razors
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British Author William Gerhardi once won the favor of a lady by telling the tale of a man who: 1) sliced off his nose while shaving; 2) dropped the razor, which cut off his big toe; 3) in his confusion switched the severed parts, so that ever afterward, whenever he blew his nose, his shoe flew...
Mistinguett, whose lyric legs drew ahs and ohs before Chevalier ever saw a razor, was finally being typecast. The ancient musicomedienne's next Paris show, hopefully titled Life Begins Tomorrow, would show her as an octogenarian...
...story. It was quite a tale. Her mother, she told Slick, had first drunk herself into a stupor with crème de cacao and curaçao, then ran away with a traveling salesman. Thereupon her father began to lose his wits, finally cut his throat with a razor. Her grandfather was popped into a sanatorium for alcoholics; her uncle still languished in the state penitentiary. The relatives who raised Susan were "a whole gibbering pack of unknowns, all drunken, all semi-criminal, all diseased." Prudish Susan was so overcome by the "beautiful luxury of grief" in telling this...
Just for a Laugh. In Green River, Wyo., a train-traveling sailor, asked why he had swallowed a mouse, a light bulb, two razor blades, explained: he wanted to amuse his fellow passengers...
...boys' department) life began at 14, when he skipped school and took to the turf. As a fourth-rate jockey in Cuba (he still gallops his nags mornings), he learned what makes a horse tick. Over & above his practical schooling, he developed a strategic sixth sense for razor-sharp hay-burners. His secret lies in knowing when to nab horses that other trainers have brought to peak performance...