Word: randomization
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...relationship -- that he is producing something like satire, driven by something like a point of view. A concept for our times: how safe can sex get, not just from infection but from imperfection, and of course from conception, though not from Baby Bell? His new novel, The Fermata (Random House; 303 pages; $21), is somewhat less elevated. A fermata, in music, is the extension of a note, chord or rest. What is extended, or stopped, in Baker's tale is the forward motion of the universe. His hero, a fellow named Arno Strine, has discovered that he can freeze time...
...really all he's interested in, and all that Baker seems to feel readers need to sustain their interest. That's fairly patronizing and more than a little feebleminded, though maybe he is right. Still, an onlooker wonders whether Baker's eye-roller was really the best that Random House could do to fill out the pop-schlock portion of its spring list...
...escape trick is sabotaged (Diagnosis Murder); a late-night TV host electrocuted by his microphone at a Friars-type roast (Burke's Law); and a manic-depressive book editor driven to near madness and pushed off a building roof to feign a suicide (Murder, She Wrote). Murders are never random or accidental or committed in the heat of passion; they are carefully planned by people with clear, easily understood motives...
...mysteries, as opposed to real-life ones, is that the culprit is always "here tonight." Which may be one reason why the Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya Harding story has struck such a chord. Kerrigan's attacker was not, as most people assumed at first, a crazed fan or a random nut. The crime appears to have been -- just like TV! -- an elaborately plotted effort by another skater's camp to eliminate a rival. Any fan of Murder, She Wrote can recognize the motive. And not even Columbo could have cracked the case faster...
Second, remember what you're there for. Some random people who you have never heard of are going to plan their Saturday evenings entirely based on what you have to say. You could be responsible, in large part, for the success or failure of an incredibly large number of first dates. You have a tremendous amount of power. So feel smug...