Word: poster
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...final note: The "apology" Tom was forced to sign was a travesty. Far from having much support, it has opened a rift in the Catholic community at Harvard, a rift far more serious and responsible for more "spiritual pain" than ORGASM's unfortunately ambiguous poster...
...Theses to the door of Wittenburg Church just doesn't resonate with theological thunder. Nebuchadnezzer's Hanging Gardens of Babylon wouldn't have stayed up had he trusted the gum. And the ancient Romans would have been hard pressed to devise a method of execution that used poster gum instead of nails, unless they had been diabolical enough to realize that protracted attempts to use the stuff can themselves weaken the will to live...
...should retreat from earlier, more glorious methods of affixion is unclear, and Harvard students, being clever folk, have devised several ways to circumvent the problem. One favorite is to place a dab or two of poster gum around the edges of the poster, in order to give the impression that all is in accordance with College regulations, and then liberally apply masking tape closer to the middle of the poster...
...others are not nearly so tame. One student, who spoke under the twin conditions of absolute anonymity and the gift of a large hammer, acknowledged over lunch that he pounds posters into the walls with as many staplers as he can find. "You'll never get me to believe that Bok uses poster gum in his office," he said. "The whole thing is a big joke the maintenance staff lays on us, year after year. Well, I'll show them...
CLEARLY, such extreme reactions signal the intense psychological strain that so many of us suffer from always returning to our rooms unsure of the extent of gravitational damage. We all know that poster gum is defective; anyone who tells you otherwise is either an unwitting dupe or a paid agent of the faceless forces behind the ongoing Teflon conspiracy...