Word: perrier
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...first law of the natural universe is that trouble always finds a path to paradise. And so it was that bird dogs from Perrier's Connecticut-based U.S. operations arrived on the scene early this year to inspect this bubbling wonder and nearly wet their pants...
...pump up to 500 gal. a minute of that stuff, wide-eyed Perrier officials told the two-town population of 1,000, and you won't see a ripple of an impact on your springs, lakes and streams. Plus, we'll bring jobs and money to the community. They had just said the same thing in another part of Wisconsin and were run out of town. But they had learned nothing about the state's long-standing conservation ethic, or that lecturing Badgers on the environment is the p.r. equivalent of telling them how to make cheese...
...need an outsider bottle-feeding their water to a nation of self-indulgent yuppies. "Taking springwater out of any ecosystem is like taking blood out of people," says John Steinhaus, 62. And so began a war that rages to this day. Country roads are flagged with GO AWAY PERRIER! signs, and villagers brainstorm daily to keep multibillion-dollar Perrier from siphoning a single drop. They've even hired Madison attorney Ed Garvey, who brought the N.F.L. to its knees in 1982 by leading the strike...
...like the fattest casts of all. "Le Bec-Fin, please," I told the Bell Atlantic operator. (Quick bit of background: Le Bec-Fin is Georges Perrier's legendary hotspot, a Philadelphia institution. Often mentioned in surveys as the best restaurant in America - bar none - it had been booked solid for days, primarily by GOP lobbyists, governors and congressmen...
...least religion was still paramount. Nate quickly explained that it was a twisted sexual reference to a certain female wrestler who had announced the week before that she does not wear underwear. I debated walking out. Instead, I asked the hawker tossing out peanuts if he had a Perrier on the premises...