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...general to spend their leisure moments in dipping into this interesting volume. And really, any one who will take his light reading in this way will find much which is not only instructive, but amusing as well, - some things, indeed, which would make a worthy theme for the Nation's satirical pen, which lately "did up" so well a certain institution in Tennessee. The first occasion for surprise the Catalogue-reader meets is, that, after the Faculty have been enumerated, the corps of College officers should be swelled by such names as those of the Superintendent of the Gymnasium...
READERS of the Nation know that at Neophogen College great attention is paid to the "specialties," Etiquette and English. The catalogue of the "New Light Producing" College supplies the world with information regarding the forms of etiquette insisted upon at that "centre of refinement." There is also a publication called the College Pen, modest, as it is able, in which the students at Gallatin, Tenn., give to the world productions destined to show the results of their constant application to the study of our mother tongue. To give the readers of the Crimson an idea of the progress Neophogen...
mount the stormy tide, essay to ride the foaming billows in the mountain waves of science, and thus in the whirlpool of commotion in the files of the nation...
...written this sentence, and we even doubt whether those who have not had the advantage of special instruction in English at Neophogen College will fully understand it. We humbly acknowledge that we do not grasp the meaning in the words, "the whirlpool of commotion in the files of the nation"; but when the editors go on to say of the College Pen: "From its incipiency we have regarded it as one of the most important features of the school," we are able to see that the word "incipiency" was certainly inspired by a peculiarly happy thought...
...subject weighed on my mind even after the theme was handed in. I took a personal view of it too, and one day I found myself soliloquizing about as follows: "Yes; I am pretty far down. I never had an idea which did n't come from the Nation. I don't know anything about the great questions of philosophy. What is culture to me? I spend my time in playing cards for beer, and lately General Schenck has almost become my patron saint. 'Fine clothes and cigarette outside,' the writer in the Advocate says. There is one thing...