Word: monstering
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...baseball was a summer sport, played by young men who could wiggle a finger at the left-field stands without getting a banner line in someone's second section. Those were the good old days. Since then Abner Doubleday's pleasant pastime has been attenuated into an eight-months monster, devouring two-thirds of the year and thousands of tons of newsprint, bleating out paragraphs about the weight of Dick Wakefield's spikes and the quality of the umpiring in the Sally League...
...budget that President Truman requested in January could hardly be more difficult to comprehend if it were written in Roman numerals. Piled up in silver dollars, it would rise 152,935 miles; it totals nearly three times all the U.S. currency in circulation. Congress took one look at the monster and began screaming for cuts. The Administration replied, as usual: fine, but where? The legislators, as usual busy with many things (including their own pork barrels), have neither the time nor the technical manpower to work out a convincing answer...
...doubtful whether anyone outside the military establishment will contend seriously that the armed services are not 10% inefficient in their utilization of civilian manpower." Nevertheless, the Byrd budget will be useful, as it has been in the past, when Congress begins tilting with Truman's $85.4 billion monster. Its understandable shortcomings demonstrate once again that it is high time for Congress to create a technical staff of its own to meet the creature in equal battle...
...that sales, as usual, were twice those of any other day in the year. The Mode men's shop reported it took in $8,500, triple usual sales. Nevertheless, Proprietor Walter Nordlinger viewed the whole affair darkly: "It's getting too big. It's becoming a monster that some day may destroy...
...rushed to New York, embalmed the gorilla immediately, and then shipped him to Cambridge as an addition to his large primate collection. Handled with utmost care, the 12 year old animal is still in excellent condition, and Dr. Erikson feels confident that he will be able to prosect his monster indefinitely...