Word: methodizing
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With the onset of universal keycard access, proper swiping techniques are more important than ever. A clean and confident swipe says "Respect me, I have security clearance." While most card-carries are familiar with the swift, downward stroke of the basic swipe, many also become panicked when this fundamental method fails. Below, FM's emergency guide to swipology...
...with most activities of this complexity, no-method is completely fool-proof. From time to time, even your best efforts will be met only by he stubborn red light on the card reader, blinking insanely, mocking you. The only course of action at this point is swift and violent retribution. Follow a series of "Double-Dips" with a barrage of vicious kicks and off-color remarks. Eventually someone will open the door...
Members of the Progressive Student Labor Movement (PSLM) added a new method to their repertoire of protest techniques yesterday. During prime time outside the Science Center--at high noon and again at 1 p.m.--they staged a street theater performance to protest the University's sweatshop policy...
...main theme of the allegretto middle movement the proper sense of graceful ghostliness, and played the living daylights out of the trio, but the real jawdropper here was the presto rondo finale. In an interview with WHRB, Perahia revealed that, studying under Miecyslaw Horszowski, he practiced his Leschetisky method like a good little boy. Nowhere was it more obvious than in these astonishingly clean, carefully controlled, and virtually unpedalled runs...
...test. Yet there remains something eerie about it, perhaps even more so after it becomes clear that the whole thing comes no closer to fulfilling our fantasies than the promises of free hot phone sex. Psychological researchers presumably designed this poster in order to capture our attention, and the method they devised to do so was to appeal to a trait that we are even more ashamed of than greed or even lust. They tried to appeal to something entirely different: our arrogance. And in a place where they had to compete with thousands of other fluorescent fliers, they were...