Word: loganized
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...Ivies—to pose as Princeton players for the duration of the season.At the first practice in the fall, Princeton coach Joe Scott doesn’t really recognize anyone, but it doesn’t alarm him, since he never truly recognized anyone but Andre Logan, Will Venable, and Judson Wallace off last year’s team anyway. So, he proceeds unfazed, even though Luke Owings, Noah Savage, and Scott Greenman seem to be playing a cruel prank on him by only answering to Matt, Jeremiah, and Allan, respectively.Finally, Dragutin Kravic and Dalen Cuff realize that they...
...unfair. I propose the construction of a futuristic, spherical, rotating dorm (whose name should include equal quantities of each letter of the alphabet, so all feel equally important) in which the rooms are equidistant from every location on and off campus, from the mail center to Logan Airport. In an egalitarian society, I should not have to make the perilous journey across the yard every day, fending off angry foreigners and their pets, if Mr. Canaday can so easily bypass the John Harvard statue and all its accompanying mayhem. But the tyrannical rampage of random privilege does not stop...
...seat—the frenzied flight attendant right on my heels—I began to worry. Maybe the “indicator problem” the captain spoke of was, contrary to his soothing claims, actually something to worry about. The plane continued to circle Logan airport, a mere 10,000 feet above the city. I buckled up and picked up the safety card...
...rose into the air. For those of us aboard, who had no idea anything had gone awry, the malfunction was a bothersome inconvenience, a mere “problem with the indicator,” as the captain so vaguely and reassuringly cooed over the intercom. The plane circled Logan for two hours, burning off fuel so as to minimize the risk of explosion upon emergency landing...
...year that I have yet to cover. Think of this “can’t stand it” list as my secular, non-judgmental holiday present to readers that hints ever so mildly at potential resolutions for the New Year:10. Undergraduate Council (UC) shuttles to Logan Airport. This one doubly frustrates me because these shuttles that transport students during holidays are not only useless, but they are popular too. They also hemorrhage money and leave many would-be riders behind due to overcrowding. Using the new Silver Line train from South Station is only marginally slower...