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...stop reading now. Most of the rest of the movie is standard-issue comedy rowdiness, with one twist: the hero is borderline bananas. Ronnie, chief security guard at the Forest Ridge Mall, takes his job waaay too seriously. He bullies his staff like the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. He thinks his men should be armed with assault rifles, not just Mace and Tasers. He patrols the mall as if it's Baghdad and al-Qaeda is around the corner. He shrugs off robberies of the mall stores but thinks the escapades of a flasher (Randy Gambill...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Observe and Report: Travis Bickle, Mall Cop | 4/9/2009 | See Source »

...turns out, am just insanely egotistical - much like Pinsky, who scored a 16 on the test despite the fact that he has been on more VH1 shows than I have and has a photo of himself on his book jacket that is slightly bigger than the book itself. Egotism isn't considered a personality disorder by the American Psychiatric Association, and it doesn't prevent relationships, as narcissism does. It simply means that in our conversation, neither of us got to finish his sentences. (Watch a video of Stein's man date with actor Paul Rudd...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Why Joel Stein Is Not a Narcissist | 4/9/2009 | See Source »

...local currency, the som, into my face. He insistently urged me to trade the money for dollars. After checking in at the grim Hotel Uzbekistan, a nattily clad porter showed me and my wife to a room, fiddled with a broken TV set, and then reached into his jacket pockets for large bricks of som. He, too, persistently begged me for greenbacks. In Uzbekistan, the dollar ruled...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Is the Almighty Dollar Doomed? | 4/6/2009 | See Source »

...most distinctive sign-offs in broadcast journalism: "Irving R. Levine, NBC News." That was the signature of my colleague and friend, who was as precise in his reporting and in his personal style as the neat knot on his trademark bow tie. He seldom removed his suit jacket, and he always slipped on white cotton gloves when reading a newspaper so the ink wouldn't stain his hands...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Irving R. Levine | 4/2/2009 | See Source »

...addition to ODIN, the Pentagon is spending millions of dollars more on other drones to track IEDs and their makers. The names are colorful: Yellow Jacket, Copperhead, the Sentinel Hawk. The Yellow Jacket project, which involves an almost self-contained robot aircraft, will cost nearly $10 million...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: The Pentagon's Shopping List for Afghanistan | 3/20/2009 | See Source »

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