Word: incesting
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Just 15 years ago, many psychiatrists believed incest was rare and perpetrated only by fathers or stepfathers on their daughters. Those myths have since been shattered. Researchers estimate that between 200,000 and 360,000 cases of child sexual abuse occur each year in the U.S. Perhaps 80% of these involve incest. Surveys in California and Massachusetts in the 1980s found that as many as 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 7 boys under the age of 18 had been sexually abused by a relative -- anyone from a father to a mother...
Another myth holds that incest occurs only if there is anal, oral or vaginal penetration. "That's like saying only people who drink three liters of alcohol a day are alcoholics," says a Chicago psychiatrist who was a victim of incest. During the past decade, the definition of incest has been broadened to include fondling, rubbing one's genitals against a child, and excessive or suggestive washing of a youngster's pubic area, among other sexual behaviors...
Information about how incest thwarts normal development is being used to help people overcome its lifelong devastating effects. During the first two years of life, children must learn how to view themselves as being distinct from their surroundings and the people around them; they are not born with the knowledge. Incest plays havoc with this healthy process by violating a child before a sense of personal integrity can fully take hold. Survivors of incest fall victim to extremes. They grow up unable to trust others or, alternatively, tending to trust too easily. They shut down sexually or become wildly promiscuous...
Eventually many incest survivors will recover at least some memories of their trauma. Generally the flashbacks begin only after the victims reach their 30s, when they are either strong enough or safe enough to tolerate the pain. The most common memory triggers include learning about someone else's abuse, seeing children attain the same age at which one's own abuse occurred and undergoing therapy or hearing about the abuser's death...
Even if they remember the incest, survivors usually try at first to minimize the damage by saying, "It only lasted two years," or "It's only my brother." Many times they will find a great deal of support in this denial from other members of their family, their spouses or their friends, who do not . want to talk about incest any more than the victims do. Men are particularly adept at trying to downplay the effects of abuse. "It was just supposed to be part of growing up," says Harold Watson, 38, an artist in New York City...