Word: hyper
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...right, of course, about the third alternative, and a very sensible one it is--working out some system of fooling the grader, although I think I should prefer the word "impressing." We admit to being impressionable, but not to being hyper-credulous simps. His first two tactics for system-beating, his Vague Generalities and Artful Equivocations, seem to presume the latter, and are only going to convince Crimson-reading graders (there are a few and we tell our friends) that the time has come to tighten the screws just a bit more...
...dyslexic girls who stick tampons up their noses aren't funny. The word "fuck" does not make everything funny, nor does its constant use by virtually every character add anything to its content or make any kind of social statement--Pulp Fiction came out four years ago. Phrases like "hyper-aggressive tight-ass busybody cunt" are not funny and do not sound very good coming out of Woody's mouth, nor does tiresome prostitute humor ("No, no. Hit me, then the blowjob"). Richard Benjamin having sex with Julia Louis-Drey-fus in front of a blind woman isn't funny...
...when Intel released millions of flawed Pentium chips. The problem was small, an internal routing glitch that caused a mathematical error. Intel took solace from the fact that this occurred so infrequently that most users could leave their PCs on for years without running into a problem. Intel's hyper-rational, Grove-trained engineers told concerned callers not to worry unless they were planning to sweat some advanced astrophysics problems that weekend. The callers hung up and dialed CNN. And the New York Times. And the Wall Street Journal. Grove, who was on a Christmas ski trip at the time...
...software mega-corporation--and the noblemen of the town become identically-suited business executives who try to juggle their brief-cases, beepers and cellular phones to amusing effect. The "schoolgirl" chorus which accompanies our recently-graduated heroines has been transformed, through a stroke of sheer genius, into a hyper-modernized version of the Japanese schoolgirl: the archetype found ubiquitously in the cartoons (anime) which permeate Japanese popular culture. Decked out in characteristic anime schoolgirl uniforms--white blouses, hot pink neckties, suggestively tiny pleated skirts and hair in brilliant colors found nowhere in nature (Yamakawa's bright-blue bob must...
...Couch Potato is experiencing feelings of guilt. For the last month or so, he and the rest of his hyper-prepared journalist colleagues have been waiting (there is no kind way to put this) for Frank Sinatra to die. He will, of course, now outlive us all. So: Happy 82nd Birthday, Frankie! It's been a lotta years since Hoboken, and not all pretty ones. Regrets? He's had a few. But then again, the smart money says that The Chairman of the Board wouldn't change much, having sung ? and lived ? all this time in the manner befitting...