Word: final
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Dates: during 2000-2000
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...fact is, final clubs are selfish. They have the opportunity to contribute positively to Harvard society, yet they squander it because of an uneasy suspicion that exclusivity is the only thing that makes them desirable. Secretly, members of secret societies have inferiority complexes...
Similarly, final clubs need to stop trying to become the social centers of campus. These elitist secret societies will never be able to become central to Harvard life. They are exclusive organizations in an inclusive environment. Final clubs throwing house parties are like the Wicked Witch of the West trying to win Miss Congeniality. It's like Homer Simpson trying to lose weight. Or pre-meds trying to pretend they have a life--the shoe simply doesn't fit. And when you try to be something you're not, you usually end up failing, comically...
Party-goers cut up the dance floor in ratty red t-shirts or recently bought Jasmine Sola tops. The D.J. played hip-hop and techno. Typical final club types sat next to people who couldn't get tickets to the Owl Luau. And the deciding factor on who was admitted to the party was not gender (male non-members are not allowed into many final club parties) or a guest list or the amount of makeup we were wearing, but whether we had a ticket. Ladies and gentlemen, the era of social equality has arrived at Harvard's social scene...
...final clubs throw open parties like those of the Seneca or the fraternities at other schools? They have the financial means. In fact, the night was organized by Nick J. Saunders '99, the former president of the Phoenix Club...
...argument is that if the societies begin letting all boys into their parties, they'll drink all the members' beer, steal all the members' girls and won't want to punch in the fall because they're essentially getting the "milk" for free. Even though final club members are cool at Harvard, they were dorks in high school just like the rest of us. Each clubhouse represents for them a guarantee of lifelong popularity. The humiliations of high school remain a memory, since girls flock to the only parties that definitely won't close at 12:45. Final club members...