Word: faked
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...Editor's note: Like reading other people's e-mails? Here's your chance to read the contents of those electronic missives flying back and forth between the real Lance Morrow and the victims of his fake alter ego. Names and certain details have been deleted or changed to protect the participants...
...them - through artful detective work (getting the bartender to sort through his credit card chits, among other things) - found out who the fake Lance...
...what do I do about the fake Lance? I have talked to corporate security people about him. They have given their advice...
...never voted to subsidize the growing of tobacco while turning my back on food programs for starving kids. I've never vetoed a gun-control bill; all my guns are fake, Senator. I've never rushed to the defense of Kuwaiti oil fields while ignoring genocide in Africa, because big oil companies that line your fat pockets aren't concerned with black Africa. Those are all your productions of your company.... [The American people] want chase scenes and car crashes. They want firm breasts and tight-assed Latino men. They want their cowboys to be strong and silent. They want...
...last night of the convention on that cable network, you probably didn't get to watch Brooks and Dunn belt out "Hard-Workin' Man" for George W. Bush's coming-out bash, thoroughly jazzing up the Texas delegation, their little yellow Stetsons bobbing to the twangy, big-backbeat fake-country jam. Too bad for you. It was the perfect lead-in to "The Sky's the Limit," Bush's getting-to-know-me film, a video invite to the line dance he's offering to take the country on for the next four years...