Word: edward
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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It’s bad enough that this is a movie. Or even a book, for that matter. “Twilight” has already sucked enough life out of pop culture; let’s keep Edward and Bella in as few incarnations as possible, please...
...fact, one of the curious things about the current vampire craze is how the more unsavory aspects of the vampire lifestyle have been almost completely eliminated. To avoid the nasty business of murdering people, for instance, Edward Cullen and his model-perfect vampire family feed on animal blood, while the more conscientious “True Blood” vampires opt for a synthetic blood substitute. They get to sleep in comfy beds instead of coffins and don’t have issues with silly things like garlic or silver crosses. Sunshine slightly inconveniences the Cullens?...
...isn’t terribly clear why staying human is a wise choice at all. Indeed, that may explain why Bella Swan, heroine of the “Twilight” series, is so eager to throw away her human life to become a vampire like her beloved Edward. Can you blame her? She’ll have supermodel good looks, super speed, super strength, and hopefully better coordination. If she plays her cards right, she may even become rich like the Cullens and own a nice...
Instead of grappling with their monstrous natures, modern vampire characters are instead kept busy with relationship problems (Edward must explain to Bella that they can’t have sex because he’ll break her bones) or civil-rights issues (“True Blood” vampires demand the right to enter the same bars as humans). Despite their undead status, they can be charming gentlemen and lead fulfilling lives complete with loving girlfriends to boot...
...second thought, it’s probably best that “Twilight” sticks with its portrayal of perfect vampire dreamboat Edward Cullen. Too much moral complexity might be deadly for Robert Pattinson’s wooden acting skills...