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Those enterprising folk at the Independent have done it again. We at Dartboard are pleased to herald the arrival of the 1997 edition of the undergraduate survey. Filled to the brim with startling revelations concerning student life, we can hardly tear ourselves away from the two-page spread of gathered facts. Did you know that only 15 percent of students use the Web as a news source...
...Dartboard were particularly intrigued by the fact that a whopping 90 percent of those belonging to an exclusive club (a Final Club, the Signet, the Pudding, etc.) claim to have had sex within 24 hours of responding to the survey...
...work of Indy staffers. They point out that the University's refusal to release statistics concerning the "religio-cultural" affiliations of students leads to "a slew of rumors regarding the religious composition of the student body--most notably, the chatter about 30 percent of undergraduates being Jewish." We at Dartboard are grateful that the Indy has put to rest this apparently notable chatter. We can all now rest easy in the knowledge that only 16.5 percent of our fellow students are actually of the Hebrew faith. The late President A. Lawrence Lowell, class of 1880, would be horrified that numbers...
...Still, Dartboard thinks it would be nice if the man who claims to represent the moral pulse of the nation would at least maintain a little bit of moral credibility. Or is that too much to ask of political leaders these days...
Although we at Dartboard acknowledge the need for the grass to grow, we are disappointed that there is never a time that students can enjoy the Yard except for the first week in the fall semester. Soon after, cold and snow drive frisbee-players and sun-bathers away. In the spring, the clothes-line-like fence keeps students off to make the grass perfect for Commencement. It is our belief that alumni would actually contribute more if they saw patchy grass and a shabbier yard, examples that Harvard really did need their money...