Word: dartboards
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...Dartboard says FDR got it wrong: The only thing to fear is…the vicious arrogance of the Republican Party...
...months since arriving in Cambridge as a super-pretentious, egomaniacal first-year, Dartboard has had to reconcile himself to any number of unpleasant surprises: being deported to the Quad, receiving e-mails from TFs inquiring into Dartboard’s membership in the realm of the living—and, of course, acclimating Dartboard’s sophisticated palate to the gruel served up by the culinary Rembrandts at Harvard University Dining Services (HUDS). That last struggle has, on the whole, been a remarkably smooth one: for as awful as the dining hall can be at its worst (Brunswick will...
...brightest—located, unsurprisingly, in the den of subtle superiority/inferiority complexes that is Adams House—was Carver Wednesdays. For months this semester, Dartboard looked forward to sneaking into the Porcellian of dining halls in the middle of each week, filling both his stomach and his heart with the help of a certain kindly HUDS employee. Stationed at a table with a heat lamp, a large knife and some form of roast meat, Dartboard’s tireless provider would grin warmly as he heaped beef or chicken onto a ready plate. Dartboard has only the best things...
...then—it was over. Dartboard went to Adams just the same as any other Wednesday night this week. Perhaps, in retrospect, Dartboard didn’t have quite the same anticipatory spring in his step this time; perhaps, spoiled by so many months of generosity, Dartboard had come to take Carver Wednesdays for granted. If so, all that changed when Dartboard shuffled into the servery and saw—nothing. Where once stood a proud man with a sharp utensil were only a few platters of stale-looking sugar cookies...
...Dartboard wept. Then Dartboard got mad. Now, Dartboard just feels empty...