Word: clauses
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Dates: during 1970-1979
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...Jimmy Carter were Santa Claus, the American business community would be asking him for two Christmas gifts. One is a tax cut to stimulate profits, investment and employment. The other is the appointment of an inflation-fighting conservative to head the Federal Reserve Board, preferably the patriarchal incumbent, Arthur F. Burns. Last week the President went halfway; he promised to call for a tax cut in 1978. But the future of the Fed chairmanship remained a tantalizing question...
...Price's mirth-shaking slapstick. But in the right mood, he can quote anything out of context for hilarious effect. Outside the witch's gingerbread house a sign reads: THIS STRUCTURE WILL BE TORN DOWN AND REPLACED BY A NEW 44-STORY COOKIE. The back of Santa Claus' sleigh bears the bumper stickers REGISTER COMMUNISTS, NOT FIREARMS! and LET'S GET THE U.S. OUT OF THE U.N. "That's funny," observes a lady as he goads his reindeer skyward. "For some reason, I always thought of him as a liberal...
...born cynic, I never actually believed in Santa Claus, of course. There were just too many fat, cheery elves in stores and street corners for me to buy the notion that a single Santa ran the whole show. It wasn't until I got to Harvard that my roommates, fools that they were, were convinced by their parents that this red-suited troupe was only a paunch subalterns for the real thing, and that the head honcho would make his annual appearance down the chimney on Christmas Eve. (I also never believed than an amazingly fat man could squeen down...
...Santa Claus is a lucky guy. He has all those little elves to make toys for him so he never has to go Christmas shopping. It's a good thing, because Ole Kris Kringle just wasn't made to squeeze into the revolving doors of department stores, and security guards are naturally suspicious of anybody carrying a big sack like his. And how many department stores would take a check drawn on the North Pole Savings and Trust? Cashing one from a New York bank is tough enough...
...trip is over, you may be convinced that "Jingle Bells" is a song about cash registers, and that green is a traditional Christmas color because people spend huge amounts of money for the holiday. Christmas shopping is here to stay, the department stores insist, and even good ole' Santa Claus will join the mobs eventually...