Word: cats
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...sweated so much that a pool formed on the ground under my eyes and I could see my reflection in it." Then, after a sudden silence followed by applause, "I was told to straighten up. A few inches in front of my eyes dangled the body of my cat, Ming Ming, hanged from the roof by a washing line." When the crowd began chanting "Hang Grey," he was roughly ushered back inside the house to find posters stuck up everywhere, and all his belongings-even his sheets and toothbrush-smeared with black paint...
ERMYNTRUDE AND ESMERALDA by Lytton Sfrachey. 75 pages. Stein and Day. $5.95. A novelistic joke by the author of Eminent Victorians protests repression through the letters of two sexually inquisitive girls. Written in 1913 and rather cutesie-pie, with terms like pussy cat and bow-wow for private parts...
...publicized that its new situation comedy, The Brady Bunch, will deal with "the most difficult integration of them all, that of the sexes." In the premiere of the series, which is perhaps the most cynically commercial offering of the season, a widow (Florence Henderson) with three daughters and a cat, wed a widower (Robert Reed) with three sons and a dog. The rival pets and siblings reduced the wedding to a sickening chaos that was about a thousand decibels less hysterically amusing than the show's laugh track suggested...
...Cat" Catlan's game is off. He was once the Number One quarterback in the league, but he's getting old. His younger teammates on the New Orleans Saints ride him, and his wife, a fashion designer (Jessica Walter), goes into a deep freeze whenever he comes near. As he hobbles off the field, fans bellow such pleasantries as "Yaah, why don'cha apply for Medicare?" He is even driven into an affair with another woman (Diana Muldaur), which is consummated in front of a fireplace and photographed with a lot of lingering dissolves as superimposed flames...
...vain attempt to make a movie out of all this, Director Tom Gries inserts dozens of pauses between the clichés, some seemingly as long as a half time ceremony. Charlton Heston brings his usual Pleistocene presence to the part of Cat, presumably granted him because his rain-barrel chest wouldn't look scrawny in the locker-room scenes, but everyone else stands around looking sort of embarrassed. The last tackle comes as a welcome relief, as Heston and the film fall one final time to the gridiron with a resounding thud...