Word: bilko
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...water full blast, and while resting on his bed, converted the place into a steam bath in an effort to sweat off a few of his 250 lbs. But the amiable giant who furnishes the stuff for such stories is no modern Babe Ruth: he is Stephen Thomas Bilko, 31, one of major-league baseball's most fascinating flops...
Currently with the Detroit Tigers in his 16th year of organized baseball, First Baseman Bilko has long been dubbed "the Paul Bunyan of the Bushes." The name is well earned for Bilko's minor-league record is formidable: in 1956, for example, he batted .360, hit 55 home runs, and knocked in 164 runs for Los Angeles, then in the Pacific Coast League. Such minor-league larruping at one time placed a $200,000 price tag around Stout Steve's bullneck, had won him four major-league tries before this year's with the Tigers. Each time...
...case for the defense was stronger, and just as reminiscent of TV's Sergeant Bilko and his Fort Baxter friends. A mess sergeant from another company earnestly testified that Pfc. God's peelings were quite normal, considering that the accused had had only a knife to work with instead of a hand potato-peeler. Moreover, defense counsel (an officer picked for the job) was able to prove that Pfc. God's peelings (saved as evidence by the company commander) weighed less than those carved by his own mess sergeant...
That did it. The two-hour trial was over; Andrew God got off scot-free, and not even Bilko's Colonel Hall should have been surprised. "The whole thing may seem ridiculous to someone outside the Army," suggested a press officer superfluously last week, as he tried to explain the strange turns of the Army's crunching, newfangled wheels of justice. How ridiculous, indeed, only God knew...
...Jack Benny Hour (CBS, 8:30-9:30 p.m.). Visitors include Julie (My Fair Lady) Andrews and Phil (Sergeant Bilko) Silvers...