Word: beren
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Before I was too caught up with the specifics," Beren explains. Winning the tennis match, getting As knowing the answer to two plus two. I think I've learned what [Harvard] has tried to teach. Once you come out of Harvard you can do anything you want. I really see myself doing anything...
...Beren's new attitude, which emphasizes non competition and constant introspection, took shape as he struggled with the dietary disorder that forced him out of competition this semester. A drastic switch to a no-fat natural food regime caused a sudden weight loss that Beren was unable to correct. But the Kansas native says his change of heart stems from a far more complex process of disenchantment with high-pressure tennis and status-seeking. He credits several courses he took this year, including Dr. Robert Coles. "The Literature of Social Reflection," for making him aware of unhappiness he had previously...
Speaking with the calm assurance Beren says his problems originated on the tennis court. As a junior player he rarely lost on the Missouri Valley circuit. Yet still got little pleasure from his success. I would always get so nervous. I brought the whole thing about winning I would think. "I'm winning. So I must be enjoying myself, even though I really wasn't." He says he often cried on the rare occasions when he did lose...
Arriving at Harvard with several other highly ranked junior players, Beren helped build a powerhouse team, which he captained junior and senior year. But this season he not only despaired losing but also began questioning his fundamental identity as an extraordinary athlete with dreams of a professional career. "Everyone gets so caught up in the specifies and appearances. If you lose, no one wants to hear what you have to say because you're not a winner. People look at you as if you're an entirely different person just because you lost...
...person close to the Harvard team, who asked to remain anonymous, ascribes Beren's personal reevaluation to the senior's realization that he probably does not have the talent to be a successful pro competitor. Teammates, who remain hesitant to talk about Beren's situation, generally agree, but with great sympathy. Says number-one singles player Howard Sands, also a senior, but a player with professional potential: "Adam's gone through a lot of changes, and a lot of people didn't really understand why I think I understand better than most I think he's reassessing his life right...