Word: bathroom
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...noticed), confided details of his marital life that I really didn't want to know. It was as if his internal censor had gone to sleep. And he began to lose his mind. He was convinced that city workmen were partying at night in his bathroom, that preachers were stepping out of the TV to say prayers with him in person, that a child had fallen behind the bed and was crying...
...took him home and detoxed him. Getting him in and out of the tub alone was a nightmare. He got up for the bathroom every hour all night long for two nights. By Day Three I was a sobbing mess. I hired a 24-hour "helper" to get him back on his feet and let me return to work. My dad was atrophying, physically and mentally, before my eyes. I put him in a rehabilitation facility. They did their best but were short staffed. His doctors wanted to put him on the harshest psychotropic drugs available. When several nurses warned...
...lobbyist, should one exist, generate some sympathetic press and maybe get a website ihatecellphones.com is still available). Next we launch a campaign for designated no-cell-phone areas in public places. That's right, put all the cell shouters at tables in the back of the restaurant, near the bathroom or kitchen, where they can sit alone and chatter, gesturing wildly, as if the party to whom they are speaking could see them. Later, after they get good and comfortable with their status as pariahs--instead of power guys--we simply designate all public places no-cell-phone areas. That...
...superheroes in the comic book of our lives? Are we not tickled to think that the world is somehow dependent on our skills and charisma? And do we not come to understand, in the bleak clarity of reality, that some heroes--especially the one staring at us in the bathroom mirror--will never be truly super...
Despite the sleeping arrangements, and despite the flat's grungy kitchen and vomit-green bathroom, complete with the traditional European showerhead-on-a-hose, I reluctantly agreed to move in. Having more than overstayed my welcome at the temporary flat, I was ready to go just about anyplace. Three days later, I shoved my suitcases into one of London's finest black cabs, and I was off to Bayswater to live with Mike, Linda and Joanna. Luckily for me, Joanna had a last-minute change of heart and decided that she didn't mind co-habitating (in the most innocent...