Word: baptiste
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Before the first glinting rays of Sunday hit the steel mills surrounding Hammond, Ind., the vanguard of 1,000 bus volunteers check in. Soon 230 blue-and-white First Baptist Church buses are plying routes across northern Indiana and South Side Chicago, and before the morning is over the drivers will have hauled as many as 10,000 persons to what foot-high signs on the sides of the buses hail as the WORLD'S LARGEST SUNDAY SCHOOL...
...claim is rock solid for the U.S., if not the world. According to Christian Life magazine's annual survey, no church comes close to First Baptist in Sunday school attendance. It draws an incredible average weekly turnout of nearly...
With soul-saving zeal, First Baptist welcomes deaf and retarded children, as well as a surprising number of Chicago street toughs, some of whom come equipped with clubs, knives and chains that have to be wrested away from them. For small troublemakers, Vineyard keeps a paddle handy. Explains one deacon blandly: "We ram respect and discipline down their throats." And more. First Baptist insists on short hair ("cut so that it is at least one finger-width above the eyebrows"). Primness also counts at the church's elementary and high schools and at its three-year-old, unaccredited Hyles...
...daresay it would be both presumptuous and callous of, say, Protestants at Notre Dame University, Methodists at Augustana College (Lutheran), Mormons at Furman University (Baptist), Gentiles at Brandeis University (Jewish), or Jews at Harvard to insist that securing these groups' presence in universities of different cultural origins and distinctiveness required the latter's extinction. Thus, in the model of American pluralism, as Notre Dame adjusted over time to this model its Catholic leadership is required only to surrender its nativist phobia--its fear that having Protestants, Jews, Muslims, etc. among us will destroy us, deny our cultural distinctiveness...
...Breaking into the dimlylit room they uncover a cache of chains, whips, and football tees. Discovered at the scene are Ron Beible, a senior quarterback for Princeton, and an unidentified female, rumored to be Princess Caroline of Monaco. No charges are filed, but Beible (rhymes with libel), a Baptist planning to attend Divinity School, calls a press conference and announces that under such circumstances he can't play...