Word: armor
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Shocks, Steel & Paint. Over the years, Bell Labs has tested more than 100 squirrel deterrents. Among them: weasel scent, tree paint, rabbit repellent, electric shock devices, steel-tape armor, 24-in. barriers of galvanized iron on telephone poles. None of these measures have worked. Several years ago, a researcher thought he had the answer in a brand-new repellent made of chlorinated hydrocarbon, found that its only effect was to make the squirrels chew treated cables and ignore the untreated ones. Lethal measures, e.g., coating the cables with paint containing ground glass, were blocked by protests from the A.S.P.C.A...
Cambridge Fire officials, panicked by incessant threats--which they attributed to the Lampoon--to make off with their engine and drive it to New Orleans instead of Kenosha, dispatched their armor-plated apparatus 24 hours ahead of schedule. City Councillor John D. Lynch, however, claimed last night that the six Radcliffe girls abroad caused the early departure...
...last of Cambridge's armor-plated fire engines will head for the Mississippi and beyond at 4 a.m. tomorrow morning, and will give up to eight Harvard and Radcliffe students a free ride home...
...pumper's cab, made of heavy armor plate, can seat nine people. Kilfoyle said that "we're willing to fill her up with college kids, if we can help them by getting them home for Christmas." He emphasized that there would be no discrimination on account of sex in choosing the riders...
...Middle Ages could be recalled. The glare of electric lights should be replaced by the romantic and less expensive flicker of torches. Mass produced desks and chairs are an anachronism; more in keeping would be oaken banquet tables and hand wrought benches. Crossed lances and suits of armor would be more appealing than flags and plaques. In keeping with the medieval atmosphere, the psychological laboratories in the basement should become dungeons and the white mice replaced by Social Relations majors on probation...