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Complaint Dept. In Colorado Springs, G. E. Dell recovered his stolen 1939 sedan with a surly note from the thief: "Your car ain't no damn good...
...Ain't Hay. In Arlington, Ohio, Railroad Telegrapher A. A. Hall threw the day's receipts into a boxcar instead of a baggage car, didn't discover his mistake until an elephant had eaten...
Born, but When? Satchel has been around the game so long that his memory-and his arm-ain't what they used to be. But he still makes the modest claim that he is the "world's greatest pitcher." Satchel† Paige was born in Mobile, Ala., 39, 43 or more probably 45 years ago, son of a landscape gardener and a mother who hated baseball. He was one of a family of nine-or sixteen. This mathematical inexactitude did not trouble Cleveland's President Bill Veeck last week. For all Veeck cared, Satchel might...
...Basil Seal, motorbiking Father Rothschild (a member of a younger branch of the banking family, who had become a Jesuit priest), and the American evangelist, Mrs. Melrose Ape. With her cotton-winged angels (Chastity, Divine Discontent, et al.), Mrs. Ape wowed high society by singing her inspirational hymn: There ain't no flies on the Lamb...
...other newspapers or editors or makes them sick . . . We're for the general public, its likes and dislikes, its peeves and aspirations, in so far as we're able to divine the same. We've been out with the gang exactly 29 years today, and we ain't snuggling up to the highbrows...