Word: affairing
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After all those years spent learning from the master, it's no surprise that her candidate's persona last week was profoundly Clintonian--by turns folksy and falsely humble, dazzlingly smart and suddenly peremptory, as when she ignored or brushed aside inconvenient questions about the Lewinsky scandal (the affair that helped make this run possible, after all, by boosting sympathy and softening her image). All week long she tried her best to stick to a script that called on her to listen and learn, seeming to absorb knowledge and wisdom from local experts and average folks in Oneonta, Cooperstown, Utica...
...just done with seventh grade, and had returned to my birthplace of New York City after a year's life in Texas. I visited a friend, and he showed me his CD player. It was a gray, futuristic affair that inspired awe (I still grin when I look at similar setups). But I just wanted the CD player because I'd seen and used one, and I thought it was cooler than a tape player. I mean, really, any given CD looked more artistic than a cassette. It had paint already on it. The cover was art, sure, but when...
...back to pre-eminence in the late '70s and early '80s. Married since 1972, Erving had always been portrayed as a dedicated family man. After first denying the reports, on Friday he admitted to the Associated Press that he was Alexandra's father. She is the result of an affair Erving had with Samantha Stevenson in 1980, when he was playing for the Philadelphia 76ers and she was a sportswriter covering the team. "All matters concerning Alexandra since her birth have been handled privately through counsel," Erving declared. He said he hadn't seen his daughter since she was three...
Call me a skeptic, but I have serious doubts about whether Maynard actually had an affair with Salinger in the first place. Hermetic, paranoid authors all tend to look alike--they're all sort of blurred, at least in the photographs. Maybe she had an affair with Thomas Pynchon, thinking he was Salinger. And how do we know for sure that Salinger actually wrote the letters? Obviously this is pure speculation, but perhaps Patsy Ramsey wrote them. I've heard that handwriting experts who viewed the letters at Sotheby's can't completely rule out that possibility...
...masse by the Royal Canadian Air Force); Conan O'Brien (he commits suicide by jumping from the GE Building); Winona Ryder (she performs an unusual exercise with Ping-Pong balls); Bill Gates (he is shot dead because Windows 98 isn't fast enough); Saddam Hussein (he has a gay affair with Satan and toys shamelessly with the Horned One's affections); Barbra Streisand (for all the old reasons); Liza Minnelli (don't ask); and God (who is vilified by one of the movie's guest kid heroes). Also anyone who lacks a bottomless tolerance for inspired comic rudeness...