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...Starr, of course, handed in his homework -- boxes and boxes of the stuff -- months ago. The independent counsel, who answered well in excess of 81 questions before the committee last Thursday, got a few more from ABC's Diane Sawyer in an interview to be screened Wednesday night. What does he really think of Clinton? "Extraordinarily talented," said Starr. "Wonderfully empathetic... he inspires just tremendous affection and loyalty." All of which earns the prosecutor top marks for magnanimity -- although it's probably a good thing that he wasn't under oath at the time...
Since the executives at the network--it was ABC, by the way--spent good money for their ad, I figure I should tell them something about the demographics of their one-person target audience. I'm part of the 35-to-50 age group--part of the far smaller age group that turned 44 last May 21, if you must know. I'm currently single, though I'm getting married in December, so my household income should increase considerably. I earn...well, even ABC doesn't need to know what I earn, but if you're looking for a consumer...
...should say that no matter what kind of food carried the unusual ad, in no event am I the best audience for any promotion from ABC. I gave up on Good Morning America even before Joan and Charlie left, and now, well, suffice it to say I get out of the house a lot earlier than I used to. I can't say I really care for Dharma, and I don't know what Greg sees in her either. If it weren't for Monday Night Football, I'd be short one network altogether...
...telling the truth when I say I was not pleased that the off-yellow banana I bought last week bore a bright yellow sticker bearing the ABC logo along with the ostensibly ironic legend TV. ZERO CALORIES. I'm no food purist, and I know bananas are supposed to have stickers. But they're supposed to say chiquita, and that makes sense. Chiquita produces bananas. ABC produces the pasty mashed potato that is Dharma & Greg...
...ABC alone that is finding increasingly intrusive ways to get its ads into the faces of an already ad-weary public. But in the past few years, it seems, the endgame, the D-day, the final storming of the last untrademarked beaches has begun. The opening shot was fired in the nation's sports stadiums...